Therapy-speak has escaped the consulting room and now roams freely across brunch tables and heartbreak. Not everything is a trigger — but everything demands to be felt. A cat philosopher interrogates the language we use to simultaneously reach for connection and retreat from it.
Anar Dana here, your ever-observant feline philosopher, currently stretched across my favourite spot right in front of the AC, pondering your curious preoccupation with triggers. I’ve noticed, with my impeccably sharpened ears- which I use to ignore my human calling out my name- that you humans seem not consciously convinced, but internally confused that everything is a trigger.
Let me state the obvious- not everything is a trigger. When the bowl is empty, I’m not triggered; I’m hungry.
When the door is closed, I’m not triggered; I’m mildly inconvenienced (and outrightly vengeful).
But from where I see- every small discomfort, every quiet pang, every faint whisper of unease is being called a “trigger”, not just by tech bros and finance dudes, but by thoughtful, reflective minions of the wisely world! It’s as if you fear that unless your feelings are labeled with dramatic precision, nobody will hear their soft, uncertain murmurs.
So, we need to talk about how therapy-speak has escaped the consulting room and now roams freely across brunch tables, reels, and arguments with your partner (yes I know everything!).
What is ‘therapy-speak’, you ask? It’s the not-so-subtle art of weaponizing your therapist’s vocabulary to explain exactly why you’re setting boundaries, but never quite admitting you’re just feeling forgotten.
And why do you do this, when you can not do this?
Tell me ………
Well, simply because humans, much like cats, find it easier to curl up behind clever words than admit we’re scared kittens underneath- hiding our softness behind a language that feels like claws, but lands like paws. In Freudian words- it’s a defence masking a deep vulnerability by introducing something that feels easier to explain & fight for.
We speak “therapy” to gently push others off the spot without starting a hiss-fight, to lick wounds we pretend aren’t there, and sometimes just to convince ourselves we landed gracefully, but did we?!
The Allure of the “Trigger” Label
I mean, let’s face it- there is an irresistible allure of calling everything a trigger!
This word holds the seductive power of transforming a banal discomfort into meaningful narratives. It mirrors the symbolic process- giving your pain an immediate, compelling significance. My petty hooman latches onto “trigger” because it promises instant validation and authenticates her emotional experience, especially in a culture otherwise often dismissive of subtler, quieter hurts. I am the culture.
I mean who cares that it forecloses the possibility of any real reflection or connection, right? Who cares that it will not leave you feeling any better than before? The goal, is to land on our feet.
** recovering from the cringe above **
In case my clever sarcasm evaded you, here’s my profound psychoanalytic insight, Karen- the frequent misuse of “trigger” risks flattening the emotional terrain into a steady landscape of affect. By labeling every discomfort as traumatic, the very gravity of true trauma gets diluted, and might I say, such flattening might mask deeper unconscious conflicts- cuz why not?!
I mean why else would we call every discomfort traumatic only to have the genuine, painful experiences lose their nuance, and… and… and… become indistinguishable from everyday irritations?
And despite that, one would say this isn’t an all hiding and masking game, for if it were, one wouldn’t experience vulnerability over performing masculinity (jk… or is it?!).
This relentless labeling is not any bland fish, dear human, it carries an old conflict- between wanting to be seen and the dread of being exposed. To declare something a trigger is to simultaneously reach out for empathy and retreat from hurt. It allows the safety of isolation, with an entanglement with the other. Being “triggered” becomes the perfect halfway house- exposing just enough to evoke care but hiding enough to avoid feeling too exposed!!
| P.S. I know, you know, that not everything is a trigger. But I also know that everything demands to be felt! P.P.S. Hold it lightly! |
